Tag Archives: addiction

Ultimate Reset: Days 7-9

Hello Friends! If you’re just finding my blog, WELCOME! So happy to have you here. If you wanna catch up:

Ultimate Reset Days 0-3

Ultimate Reset Days 4-6

Day 7

I finally broke through the mini plateau and hit 176lbs-YAY! I did spend about 3 hours outside in the 110 degree heat so I allowed myself a coconut water to rehydrate.

Day 8

This is the beginning of Week 2! That means new supplements, including the “detox” supplement.

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It actually doesn’t taste bad, despite how it looks. It tastes citrusy, and if I drank it quickly it vaguely reminded me of Fruit Loops. And because I’m drinking it 3 times a day before meals, it helps fill me up!

Day 9

I had smashed chick peas with garlic and olive oil and it was WAY better than I thought. No picture (sorry) but take my word for it. It was a nice change from the fruit breakfasts!

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I also dropped to 174lbs by Day 9, which felt good. Dinner was delicious too:

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Roasted asparagus with almonds, and Sweet potato and Roasted Red Pepper Bisque.

So far I’m feeling really proud of my success with the weight loss and I’m finding these veggie meals are pretty delicious! The prep is still time consuming, but it’s becoming more of a habit.

Thanks for reading! I share A LOT more about my journey over on my Facebook page and my Youtube channel.

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❤ Raya

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Ultimate Reset: Days 4-6

Hi, friends! If you’re just starting to follow along, you can read about my decision why I’m doing this Reset here, and Days 0-3 here.

Day 4

This was probably my most difficult thus far. I didn’t sleep well the night before (less than 6 hours, which is NOT enough for me), I somehow gained a pound  (how is that even possible?) and it was my first day with absolutely no coffee.

I really love coffee.

Breakfast was good-lots of fruit, which I love!

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Lunch was more sushi, and it was soggy because I made it the night before. And lentil lime salad, which I couldn’t finish because, like I said in my last post-I am NOT a fan.

Then I made Annie’s mac ‘n cheese for Dominic for dinner, and it took EVERY. SINGLE. OUNCE. of my willpower to not “just take one bite”…because I knew that one bite would turn into 6 bites and then somehow half of it would be gone. Then, I really wanted a glass of wine to “relax”…or maybe because it was Saturday…or maybe because I love wine, too.  Instead I did some stretches and tried to calm myself down. Luckily, dinner itself (stir-fry) tasted pretty good and filled me up.

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Day 5

You know that saying, the night is darkest before the dawn? Or something like that? Well, turns out it’s true because Day 5 was my FAVORITE! Breakfast was delicious (farina w/ apples, nuts, and pure maple syrup). If you’re wondering what farina is, it’s cream of wheat. I had to Google it, because the guy stocking the organic section at Fry’s told me “I’ve never heard of that in my life and we definitely don’t have it here.” Thanks, bud.

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Lunch was even more delicious (hummus has never tasted so good)…and that’s quinoa salad that you see in the corner. That shit was DELICIOUS. So much so, that you’ll be getting the recipe in an upcoming post!

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Day 6

Weight is still at 178.

Had smoked tempeh for breakfast and it tasted yummy. Kind of salty (which, if I’m saying it’s salty, then it definitely is because I love salt), but went well with the steamed spinach.

For lunch, I subbed out the microgreen salad for a vegan chocolate Shakeology mixed with berries and water. I needed something fast, and didn’t have time to cut up all those veggies.

Dinner was sooo good! Zucchini Cashew soup and Roasted Root Vegetable Medley.

This was my first time using cashews in this capacity-basically, you soak them in water for an hour, then blend them (I used my Nutribullet) with the water and the boiled zucchini, and you get soup!

And the roasted root veggies-oh my. I don’t even like beets, but they tasted amazing in this! And the onions were crispy and caramelized…oh yum. This is another one I’m adding to my repertoire.

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Overall, I’ve definitely slept better these last few days now that I’m not experiencing symptoms of caffeine withdrawals. I’m excited to see what the rest of this challenge brings! Thanks for sticking with me :-*

Raya

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I Struggle With Binge-Eating: My Story

DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH BINGE-EATING?  Me too.

Over the past year of helping women live healthier lives so they can regain their confidence and live a more fulfilling life, I’ve learned SO much about myself. Isn’t it crazy what can happen when we focus on helping others? But the truth is that about 6 months ago, I stopped seeing results and, as it turns out,  I’ve been struggling too. As I listened to more personal development, and I researched to learn more and more about my own health, I’ve come to recognize a few things. First of all, I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I eat to relieve stress or to “relax” and according to the research I’ve done, food can be an addiction.  Armed with that info, I can now say with almost certainty that I am addicted to certain foods. This leads to my second realization-my problem with binge eating several nights each week, and then feeling SO guilty about it for days.  I LOVE desserts. As soon as my brain gets a bite of sugar, it immediately says “MOREMOREMOREMORE!” and next thing I know, I’ve eaten 3 slices of cake.  Did you know that sugar and cocaine affect the same areas of your brain? Except you can give up cocaine forever-you can’t give up food. You need to eat to survive, and that makes food addiction different than any other.  For me, I can sometimes go weeks or even a couple of months without a binge-if I’m really focused. But it always seems inevitable that I will fall off the proverbial wagon. Did you know that 90% of women who suffer from food addiction were abused in some way as children? This can be sexual, physical, or emotional abuse-and that was when I knew that I had (have) a deeper issue than wanting to eat half a tray of brownies. I’ve been eating to comfort myself…for YEARS. My first memory of doing this in middle school. After school I would come home, sit on the couch and watch TV, and EAT. I would make brownies and eat half the batter before it made it into the oven. I would stuff my face with chips. My mom never kept a lot of junk in the house, but I was creative.

WHAT HAPPENED? Why did I need to self-soothe with food? Well. I didn’t realize it at the time…actually, I didn’t realize the depths of this until JUST NOW. But, the eating started in middle school-and you know what else started in middle school? I was bullied. I’ve briefly mentioned this before, but I’m going to elaborate a bit more in case others can relate. From the first day of 6th grade when I stepped onto the school bus, so excited for middle school, there were 4 girls on that bus that TORTURED me. They were one year older than I was, and this went on for YEARS. It affected everything-I couldn’t try out for the soccer team (even though my 6th grade gym teacher told me I should, because I was GOOD) because they played soccer. Once, they poured hot chocolate over my head (!!!!) on the bus on the way to school. They threatened to put Nair in my hair. One time, on the way home, the bus driver had to TURN THE BUS AROUND and go back to the school to drop me off because the entire bus was picking on me in unison.  They picked on everything from my last name, to my facial expressions, to my socks. In high school it got a little better, but it still continued somewhat until they graduated.  And I NEVER SAID A WORD. I never stood up for myself, I never said anything. My mom just told me to ignore them and they would go away. It’s actually shocking to me, now, that I never said ANYTHING…because anyone who knows me now, knows that I have NO issues speaking my mind. But still, one of my biggest regrets was not telling them to shove it on that very first day of 6th grade. SEVEN YEARS of being bullied is a lot for a teenager to internalize. And ever since then, I have always felt somewhat “less than”…and that habit of eating for comfort has stuck with me.  The feeling I get when I’m binge-ing is hard to explain-it’s almost like I’m not tasting the food so much as I’m experiencing the textures. I like soft, chewy things. I like the way they slide down my throat-but I’ve noticed that as time goes on, I need to eat more and more to finally feel “full.” One cupcake is no longer enough.

IS THIS FOR REAL? I’m not severely overweight, so you might be wondering-am I serious? But yes. I’m serious. I have roughly 40lbs to lose still, and the weight I’m currently at is 170lbs. For my height and weight, 130 is about an average healthy weight give or take a few pounds. I have been stuck at this weight for the last 6 months at least. This is also the weight I was stuck at before I got pregnant. It’s where my body is comfortable. It’s where I can workout enough to be able to keep up my “habit” of bingeing a couple times a week and not gain more.  So, OK-I was bullied when I was a teenager, and now I’m 32. SO WHAT? Well…I agree! That’s why it’s taken me so long to realize what a deep effect that had on me. I don’t want to dwell on the past, nor do I hold any ill feelings towards those that bullied me. I’m only sharing so you can see that abuse comes in many, many forms and everyone copes differently.

WHAT’S NEXT? Well, in my research I’ve come across an amazing book that I firmly believe will help me battle this addiction.  The first step (which I started today) is DETOX.  For some, this may seem drastic, but I know that I cannot keep putting this amount of food/sugar into my body and remain healthy.  I don’t know if this means I can never again eat a brownie without falling back into this pattern-only time can tell that. But I do know that I cannot put myself, or my future children at risk by continuing to eat this way the next time I get pregnant (God-willing). I know that it will be hard and I might have slip ups, but I truly believe I can recover from this and live a life where I don’t have to hide my eating habits.

Sharing this is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Especially when I’m supposed to be inspiring others? I would rather portray the image of having it all together. But let’s face it-NOBODY has it all together!!! Definitely not me. I do the best that I can.  When I realized that I wasn’t “weak” and it’s not that I have no willpower-but instead that I’m ADDICTED….I felt free. I felt BETTER. I felt like I finally had found a solution to a problem I’ve been dealing with for years. So…if this helps someone else, then it’s worth the embarrassment it causes me to share something so personal.  For me, I no longer feel helpless. If you feel you’re struggling with food addiction(s), you are not alone.  I have a plan-and, as always, I’ll be documenting my journey with 100% honesty.  If you’d like to follow along with me, you can add me as a friend on Facebook, subscribe to my Youtube Channel, or send me an email (rayapickett at gmail dot com). And of course-thanks for reading!

Raya

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